Friday Funnies

Here’s a small collection of the things that have cracked me up or annoyed me this week. What have you all read from the world of running this week?

Hysterical, spot on Buzzfeed article on post-college athletics. What, I have to workout alone?

One of my pet peeves. Do you run at stoplights? I’m more of a sit down kind of girl. But seriously, stop it. Your body doesn’t care.

And in the most annoying story of the week. First, some girl at the NYC half ran the whole thing taking selfies…of other people, so I think she did it wrong, but regardless, I tweeted at that time that it was obnoxious. It’s fine to run your own race, but don’t mock other runners and obstruct the course. I got over it. Then this girl decided to mimic her and one-up her and bandit a race while taking selfies and writing extremely insulting captions. The backlash was strong and instead of being classy and apologizing, she goes on to say “thanks for the pageviews!” Mark Remy at Runner’s World had a great response.

This weekend, I’m looking forward to watching the Carlsbad 5000 with a Grunewald/Hasay/Van Alstine/Martinez showdown and World Half Champs with my new girl crush, Lauren Kleppin. I think she’s a lock for Rio 2016, just in case anyone was wondering.

I see odd things at the gym every day. Sometimes it’s clothing choices. For example, can someone explain the cutup cotton tee shirt that shows off the sports bra? More often, I see people doing exercises that make little physiological sense. I recently said to Will that I wanted two “red cards” per workout, where I could ask a stranger what body part they thought they were working out. Nevertheless, this article cracked me up. It still doesn’t explain backwards Stairclimber, however.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen at the gym lately?

That Awkward Moment When…

I’ve had my share of awkward gym moments over the years. Most recently, I’ve work see-through capris (unbeknown to me), fallen trying to get up off the exercise ball (my boot is a decent excuse) and today, realized that I didn’t quite manage to get my sports bra on correctly. 45 minutes into my workout in a white tank top.

As my friend John would say what had happened was I hardly ever wear this sports bra because it’s not good for running. It was a gift from a friend who competes in fitness competitions but definitely more for her sport than mine. Nevertheless, it’s fine for the elliptical and lifting and it was on the top of the pile this morning. It has double straps on the shoulder, definitely more pretty than functional and somehow I didn’t manage to get both double straps on my right side over my shoulder. I also managed to not notice this through my time on the elliptical or the first few exercises. As I started overhead press, however, I realized something was very wrong. A black strap was cutting across my armpit, under my shoulder. Not my best moment. I finished my workout quickly then walked with my arms at my side to get to my coat.

What awkward wardrobe malfunctions have you suffered while running? Do you fix them or just keep going?

Keeping Fit on Crutches

From an informal poll I took on New Year’s Eve, most people view recovery from surgery as a time to veg out, catch up on TV and generally ignore exercise. For me, it’s precious weeks off from the aerobic base I’ve spent the last 36 months building. As such, I’ve been “working out” almost since surgery. Granted I’ve been limited by the instruction to not weight bear and the sheer of ice over Burlington, but I’ve made do and found some entertaining websites in the process.

First, I googled “chair workouts.” I figured that there must be people who have limited mobility that still like to workout and I’m not the first person on crutches. It turns out that they run the gamut but that YouTube is full of personal trainers with “great cardio workouts.” I’ve tried a couple of them but my two favorites are the following:

Chair Cardio by Trainer Trish (tough on already tired crutch arms)

Seated Cardio by Spark People

Ridiculous as it may sound for someone who runs 70 miles a week, I’m working through these videos every day, with a goal of adding reps of the first workout and completing the whole second workout. In concert with my crutch to and from our classroom, this comprises most of my daily workout. I’m also doing as much strength training as I can, primarily upper body and core. I figure that if I can come out of this with great arms, I’m ahead of the game.

After finding out that UVM’s handicap doors don’t work and crutching half a mile on ice tonight due to some jerk parked in the handicapped space without a permit, I googled “keeping fit on crutches” for entertainment. I learned that crutching for 10 minutes burns 50 calories and got some not-so-useful tips on “surviving crutches.” The article is right about the bag (I have a backpack for school and a lovely Vera Bradley tote for home), but misses just about everything else including what to do if an ice storm hits (tiny steps!), how to not show everyone how sweaty you are (black everything) and ways to style your hair when showering is just too damn hard (low bun, works every time).

Thankfully, I only have about another week on crutches. Next week, I see Mark and transition to my walking boot. Assuming the ice is gone by then, this will make coaching and life in general much easier. I also look forward to many boring hours on the bike and in the pool.

Shhhh I’m Resting

I haven’t run yet. And I haven’t finished my hissy fit yet, either. Work was busy enough this week that I didn’t really have time to dwell on VCM 2013, but I still have a sour sense of disappointment and frustration that we got the weather we got and I missed a chance for a better performance. More of the frustration comes from realizing that I didn’t execute a particularly strategic race and mentally gave up when I felt as fine as one is going to feel in the marathon.

Regardless, we move on. I’ve turned back into a bit of a gym rat this week, as I’m taking a little time away from pounding on my legs. Monday and Tuesday, I hobbled including a comical walk home from work. I thought I was ready to tackle the big downhill between my office and my house but I was wrong. Picture a woman in dress clothes and loafers walking down a steep hill with completely straight knees. I had a few moments where I was sure I was going to fall. On Wednesday, I peddled a recumbent bike, lifted arms and found out that my new capris are 100% see-through. My sincere apologies to everyone lifting with me. Yesterday I tested out my “run readiness” on the elliptical. Not ready. After 25 minutes, my legs felt like jello and things were starting to hurt. Maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, Will, Seth and I spent a number of hours last night gearing up to apply for elite status for Olde Bones.  USATF designed this program “to support USATF’s efforts to develop nationally and internationally competitive athletes by increasing and enhancing the number of year-round training environments available to post-scholastic and post-collegiate U.S. athletes.” We plan to apply for this status in January and our meeting was to clearly delineate steps towards that application. Much more will be out soon on the Olde Bones site, but we made some new team “web stuff,” so if you’re interested in runners other than me (and some really, really talented runners…):

Website: oldebones.tumblr.com

Twitter: @OldeBonesTC

Facebook: facebook.com/OldeBonesTC

Furthermore, if you’re interested in potentially joining the Olde Bones, you can email us at oldebonestc@gmail.com. A optimal fit for us would be a post-collegiate athlete interested in continuing competition who has performed at at least a 70% age-graded level in the past year.

 

 

Brain Freezer Pictures, Finally!

Remember when I ran that disgusting 5K last summer and found out just how fast I could run a 5K that included eating a pint of ice cream in the middle? Pictures are finally available! To make it even better, I am somehow the cover photo for the race Facebook page. It’s hard being famous…

Pint of Ice Cream

I was still under the impression that a spoon would be efficient…

Ice Cream Done

Epic action shot. It took me at least 30 seconds to swallow that last bit…

I’m Telling You, It’s Purple Wax!

Coaching is one of my favorite things in the world. You get to participate in a sport you love and influence athletes at a time when ability finally matches enthusiasm. I always feel that the absolute best part of coaching is believing in an athlete long enough that they begin to believe in themselves.

The other great part about coaching, however, are the other coaches with whom you work and compete against. I’m lucky to coach with three great guys whose knowledge of sport and of coaching principles push me daily to be a better coach. When you coach with someone, you know a lot about them. You know their stressors, you know how they take their coffee and you know what situations to let them handle and what situations they will walk away from for you to handle. In Nordic, Al, Barker and I spend a lot of time together by virtue of far away races, the training requirements of a sport with two disciplines and of course, wax science. That’s why the picture below made me laugh out loud. It’s from States on Tuesday, early morning as we were deciding on wax. I don’t know if we’re actually arguing about a decision or mocking ourselves, but it’s a perfect encapsulation of the season. While I’m happy to have the training time back, I already miss getting to spend 3 hours a day with these guys.

I'm telling you it's purple

(Treadmill) Running is Hazardous to Your Health

It’s that time of year where weather makes running outside seem unpalatable. Freezing temps, wind and slippery sidewalks can force the faint of heart inside. Inside is apparently no safer, however, as this link demonstrates. While I’ve logged my share of miles on the treadmill (including a 16 miler), I almost always opt for the outdoor option. As for treadmill fails, I’ve only had one significant one; I was running on a treadmill in my college gym when we had a power outage and flew backwards along with everyone else running on the treadmills at the time, a coordinated fail if you will. Too bad we didn’t have YouTube. My sister, however, had a treadmill fail that resulted in a large hole in my aunt’s living room wall.

Anyone have a good treadmill fail story to add?